The following are the recorded responses of Eyazahrid to the feedback he received on the above listed chapter and the story in general for the week following. This document is to serve as a replacement to the traditional Author’s Note at the beginning and ending of chapters and will be kept separate from both the above listed chapter and any future chapters unless deemed sufficiently important.
“Awww… looks like the children of Au have a lot of work to do to get back into Naruto’s good graces. Hopefully they can redeem themselves and get back to the good times.
Why do I feel like Naruto is going to burn down Kiri a second time after all of the headaches that Haku has just given him…”
That they do. Perhaps he’s been spoiled by the Wolves, but Naruto expects loyalty and competence from anyone working under him.
Think he might be a bit too busy with those headaches.
“Damn it would be funny is hiruzen actually did that also love this chapter keep up the good work and have fun.”
I’m considering it. It would be nice for Hiruzen to actually be able to have a proper retirement for a change.
“Yes I left 2 reviews last time no reason to worry.
“Au can get down here to ask for an audience himself… Damn orochimaru is a savage!”
I couldn’t stop grinning when I had him say that. Probably my favorite part of the chapter.
“Sorry for leaving a second review again I accidentally taped send when I had not even finished this chapter…
Damn Naruto is straight to the point like AU himself, and also a better manipulator than the manipulator amongst divine snakes… For a second I thought he would ask to be healed but apparently that isn’t important to him (why would it? He is already one of the most powerful people in the world as far as he knows!he may even be the most powerful depending on pains limitations…)
Damn the way a divine serpent scrambled to get narutos blood of the floor and table was somewhat terrifieng and makes Naruto more terrifieng while making Au’s children seem like idiots…
Overall very nice chapter with several of the more important events going into the next stage or at least approaching it!”
This seems to be becoming a habit of yours, Wicked.
To be fair to the Elder, she is doing this with some major disadvantages. Several avenues of persuasion are blocked off to her and she needs to ensure they regain his favor before pissing him off too much. Not only is she going into this with no idea what he’s like but she’s been severely handicapped.
It doesn’t help that she’s been thrown off-balance by the sudden changes to her form.
“Naruto expressing his disinterest and disappointment with Au’s children (the exception being Koshi) is both what I expected and wanted. I had been wanting a “prove your worth” and am happy to get something get it. Whether Akishi succeeds or not is something I look forward to seeing.
What I’m definitely looking forward to the most, however, is Kushina’s eventual reaction to learning that Naruto, her son, her precious baby boy that she (not to mince words) abandoned is the leader/founder of the wolves she loathes for allegedly takin him from her.
Also, it’s been a while, but what about the Yamanaka? The last I remember SEVERAL chapters ago was Ino commenting on Naruto doing something nice for someone else (delivering Baki to Yugao if If I remember correctly, Naruto berating himself how he’d been appearing to others, leaving a confused Ino alone at her compound, and Ino enlisting Inoichi’s help to figure out what she might’ve said to offend/change him. I’ve been wanting an update on this situation, but I don’t remember anything ever coming of this much to my disappointment.
Hell, I miss reading Yandere!(Yangire?)Sakura and her wanting to create more crimson bouquets with Naruto. Creepy Sakura is Interesting Sakura to me.
I’m starting to ramble now. Oops.
Do stay safe and I eagerly await the next chapter!”
He wasn’t disappointed in Ashun, either. He was more disappointed the serpent he had been working well with had vanished and replaced by someone ill-prepared to carry out his instructions.
In my not-as-successful-as-I’d-like attempt to narrow the focus of the story onto Naruto and a few others I haven’t really planned to show the Yamanaka until they were interacting directly with Naruto or someone close to him. Even then, it’s looking like he may just be informed about some of their activities by a Wolf rather than interacting with them himself.
Sakura seems to be well-missed by a few of my readers, so I’ll have to see if I can squeeze her in again before some of the upcoming events.
“Loved Hiruzen and Asuma’s reactions to Tsukuyomi’s identity and from Hiruzen’s statement he knows about the Sealkeeper. I can’t wait to see how things play out on all sides, Akishi and the other’s response to Naruto’s view of them, Hiruzen and Asuma’s reactions when they realize that he may have done the same with the Ichibi as with the Sanbi, and Naruko and Kushina’s reactions to realizing that Naruto isn’t simply connected to the Wolves… he rules them. The only thing that I think could have made this chapter better is if Danzo was in the meeting and burst out laughing when Haku explained that Naruto not only kicked the a*** of Kisame and Zabuza alone, but that he extracted and resealed the Sanbi in a matter of seconds, and Asuma has all but declared war against him. I can easily see him keep laughing as he offers the advice of begging Naruto’s forgiveness while leaving the office and unnerving people as he goes cause well… he’s Danzo, people expect him to be like permanently
stoic and he’s laughing like a madman. Anyway I can’t wait for the next chapter. As always I hope you enjoyed writing this as much as I have enjoyed reading it.
I almost had Danzo present for this, I just didn’t see a good reason for him to be just hanging out in the Hokage’s office.
“The parts with Akishi, Orochimaru and Naruto were the best, I think I read the interactions between her and Naruto 5 times, it was just great. Akishi is underestimating Naruto so much and her information on humans is to old to really help her, added to that is her new form that doesn’t really help her. She is sitting in front of a Ninja and Manipulator and is displaying all her emotions and reactions, the Manipulator of Au is getting manipulated. She seem to be the most ill prepared for this encounter and Naruto was playing her like a fiddle, I loved that part. The part with Haku, Asuma and Hiruzen was also interesting especially their reactions, what you plan to make out of it, is something I greatly look forward to.
You sometimes change Akishis name to Ashiki, especially to the end, it happend in the chapter before this one too, as I had mentioned before.”
In fairness, snakes don’t show much emotion normally. She’s suddenly found herself with a face that conveys it much, much more easily.
I have her name down both ways in my notes, so I’m making the official call that from now on it’s going to be “Akishi.”
“I have to say, seeing things logically Naruto does not have a compelling reason to accept Akishi’s proposal, he has given me regret for his situation in this chapter.
with all my heart I hope you meet your goals.
Very good chapter.
blessings and good health to you and your loved ones.”
“I miss creepy crazy Sakura. Also, Haku is a bitch”
Not sure why you feel that way about poor Haku.
“yeah, I really have a hard time caring about Naruto during these last few chapters. He is more and more acting like an entitled bitch. His inability to listen or pay attention to anything beyond his narrow perception and experience. The Au high priest is simply the latest in a long line of poorly understood powers he has.
The Clans under his control, the businesses he should be managing, the markets he should be influencing. Instead, Naruto fumbles constantly, reacting perpetually to anything that affects him. There were many moments where he was proactive, especially at the beginning of the story.
The easiest example is how deviant the flesh devouring tendencies was handled during previous chapters. If it was a tradition that he promoted more than once I wouldn’t mind as such, instead, it was his followers pushing their expectations on him and Naruto caving. This lack of purpose or direction makes it impossible for Naruto to develop a methodology. Even thought multiple goals and philosophies have been discussed and proven to be important to Naruto. One simple example is his lack or care for his cultivated employees, such as Hinata and Hanabi and Ino.
Naruto has such a small attention span that he has ignored the old toys in favor of new ones. Repeatedly. Starring with his first possessive and obsessive lover, continuing with every relationship he has. The only one that came to a head and bites him in the ass so far has been a certain sword jonin. While it wasn’t his fault, his lack of relationship and intimacy allowed for her to be “turned” as easily as she was in light of her lover being killed.
Anyways, my big gripe is a personal disgust over Naruto not having the capacity to maintain any healthy relationships with people outside of a select individual at any one time. It’s absolutely believable for the established character to be the way he is, however I personally dislike such a. mindset and am frustrated experiencing it. If only in a literary form.”
I think you address some of your own points in this, so I’ll just add that it’s not so much him ignoring things so much as it is him being overwhelmed by all the things he ends up with on his plate.
“:This is the epitome of all things wrong with fanfiction. It’s yet another case of a terrible fanfic and you just sit here and wonder how it is so popular. Why do Objectively terrible story’s rise to the top.”
First, I don’t know who gave you the impression that this story is popular or anywhere close to the top but you should probably start taking everything they say with more than a few grains of salt.
Next, I have to question if you read through 120 chapters of the story to decide you didn’t like it or if you just skipped to the end because you don’t realize that Reviews show up chronologically and the chapter they’re on doesn’t affect that. Well, on my end it doesn’t, at least.
Finally, do be a dear and try to keep things constructive. All you have to do is add a list of things that are so horribly wrong with the story. That would support the claim that it’s “Objectively” terrible, because as it is all I have to go off of is the fact that this is, in fact ,a matter of opinion.