The following are the recorded responses of Eyazahrid to the feedback he received on the above listed chapter and the story in general for the week following. This document is to serve as a replacement to the traditional Author’s Note at the beginning and ending of chapters and will be kept separate from both the above listed chapter and any future chapters unless deemed sufficiently important.
“This chapter surprised me with the length of background information. Thank you for that.”
I’m glad you liked it. I’ve been enjoying building up the lore.
“Of all the things to appear in this story, snakegirls was not expected… nice.”
-Axius W. Xanzux
It’s singular. For now. We’ll see how things go, I may end up delving even further down this Path of Au but as it stands I’m trying to keep things more streamlined. Diverging to add more Au to the world might drag things out a bit too much.
“A great chapter as always. The part with Au was the most interesting and that he changed Akishis form to that of a Lamia is also interesting and opens many other possibilitys with her in that form. Now what will be Narutos reaction to a Snakewoman in his office, when he gets there, somehow I see him reacting as if it was completely normal.”
What? Are you saying that finding a naked snake woman in your office isn’t normal?
“The snake stuff is interesting, but it also feels somewhat detached from Naruto and the plot events. I’m assuming it’s going to be a thing in the future?”
It’s more us coming back to things brought up before. I’ll try to keep from exploring it too much so it doesn’t detract too much from the story but still manages to satisfy previous plot points. Maybe in an eventual rewrite I can do more with it.
“one thing is for sure uzumaki will end between her legs hahaha i talk a lot with her story another satisfactory chapter that you can achieve your new goals, and curiosity as the covid around here in Brazil is dangerous”
Well she doesn’t actually have any legs, so I highly doubt that.
“Au has descended. His will be done. This is as it should be. And I love how it has been done.”
Glad you liked it.
“Thank for the chapter and more please !
A human snake ? Like… a naga ? Or just a human with some aspect of a snake ? I don’t understand very well this part…”
I was going to explain it more as Naruto first sees her but I’ll provide a more basic description here. While everyone seems rather fond of the term “Lamia”, I personally prefer D&D’s Yuan-Ti. Mainly because “Lamia” is a proper noun. It’s like calling a winged horse a “Pegasus” when “Pegasus” was just the name of a specific winged horse.
So, back to the snake, she has the torso of a human woman but instead of skin she has very small, soft scales in a bronze color. From a distance she looks like a tanned woman. From the waist up, anyway. Her lower body is the tail of a snake. She has long black hair and her hands have long, sharp fingernails.
Essentially she’s a halfblood Yuan-Ti but her upper body is closer to a pureblood. That description works in reverse too, a pureblood with the lower body of a snake. She would just be a halfblood but I’ve never cared for the way the torso and head of halfbloods looked.
“I enjoyed this chapter. Seeing the snakes interactions as well as the colorful emotion/imagery was a joy.
I hope that the Snakes can reconcile with Naruto and that he can adopt and even greater presence.
Also… will the newly transformed Lamia join Naruto’s… female admirers?”
I’ve moved away from relationships- as much as I can manage, at least- so no. Any admiring she may do won’t be shown within the story.
“Wonder how Sasukemaru will react to the Naga/Limia? Bit too human to be a Naga, bit too snake to be a Limia.”
You’ll see next chapter.
“Au’s speech is a lot more modern and… Simple for lack of a better term than I imagined…”
While Au doesn’t interact with the world directly, he is aware of everything that happens under his domain. He knows how people speak these days because he went through the changes with them.
As for simple, he tries to keep things to the point. He’s speaking with the elders, his first children who in turn taught all the others. He’s not looking to impress or intimidate them but instead is telling them in no uncertain terms that they have greatly disappointed him and that he wants them to fix it immediately.
“I can see a few parallels between how Au’s children view him and how tsukuyomis’s view him, though tsukuyomi doesn’t inspire fear In his…”
Really hoping that you actually left two reviews and that I haven’t fucked something up while gathering reviews to write this commentary. The similarities were definitely on purpose and I especially enjoyed each time I had the Snakes think of Au as “the Father”. There’s a reason he accepted Naruto for the role of High-Priest, after all.
“I’ve been so excited for all of the Au stuff that I actually had to wait a moment to calm down when I first started reading. You delivered so freaking hard. That was simply amazing. You took my expectations and buried them under so much excellence that I’m actually embarrassed that I had such standards. You have my utmost respect and any praise that I shall think of in the future. I shall patiently wait for your next visit from the top of the mountain.
Also snake girls. Nice.”
I’m very pleased to hear that. The snakes are some of the most original work I’ve actually done i na long time and its been feelign pretty good. i jsut have to keep reminding myself not to delve too far into writing out their lore because only so much of it will be able to fit into this story.
I do wonder who will notice the major piece of lore I’ll be hinting to in coming chapters. It won’t actually be included in Sealkeeper but if someone manages to identify where it should be I would be quite happy to share.
“I actually got really excited at seeing the events between Au and his children play out. Alas poor swallowed snake elder. Looking forward to more development.
On a different note, seeing Naruto interact with Hinata just reminded me of your plans to cut ALL relationships from the story. I mourn already. I’ll miss Naruto’s interactions with Karura, Mito’s attempts to back into his good graces romantically or otherwise, Anko (oh gods, I’ll miss those the most), his affection-seeking wolves, and pseudo-romantic/familial interactions with Mikoto (whatever she seems to be doing at this time; it’s been too long).
I mean, the only relationship I can recall at this time that was really polarizing, even to me, was Mai/Tsume and while I’m glad this is getting resolved offscreen, it seems extreme to cut out all relationships, period. It’s akin to a restaurant removing all desserts from their menu because one of them in particular was vehemently disliked.
Then again, this sadly also would be in character for Naruto to not get romantically attached considering his dinner with Kushina, Ino, and Inoichi waaaaay back where he said (paraphrasing) that he’d likely not get married anytime soon what with his focus on his new family, his Wolves. Boy, that feels like so long ago…
In any case, I still wait eagerly for the next chapter and am glad you’re back to doing your commentaries. That being said, do watch out for your health and don’t stress yourself on our accounts. IRL complications should always take priority because if you don’t take care of yourself, who will?”
Au’s glimmering scales that’s a long one. Okay, let’s start at the top.
Rest in peace, Ahkra.
If the Mai/Tsume relationship was the only one people had ever complained about then I would agree with you completely but I’ve been receiving negative feedback for my relationships since chapter one and finally decided that I’ll focus on the parts people actually seem to enjoy.
I’m certain I’ll stress myself out regardless, but I appreciate the sentiment. I do hear that Death takes care of everybody she meets, though. She sounds like a lovely sort of woman.