The following are the recorded responses of Eyazahrid to the feedback he received on the above listed chapter and the story in general for the week following. This document is to serve as a replacement to the traditional Author’s Note at the beginning and ending of chapters and will be kept separate from both the above listed chapter and any future chapters unless deemed sufficiently important.
“:I hope you dont plan on having Naruto financially help Haku out.
There is literally no reason for him to do so since there isn’t anything she can offer that will benefit Naruto or the Wolves in any significant way.
So what if she like his sister and even kissed her, that’s a terrible reason to agree considering he is so indifferent to his former family now.”
I really don’t see a reason he shouldn’t. Sure, he might not directly benefit but he can thumb his nose at Kirigakure by being the one to finance Haku’s mission and he’s bound to be amused that she even tried.
“So is Naruto possessive or not? You change literally every other chapter on whether he’s possessive of these women, or not. Pick one. Stop writing this b***, unneeded drama in every f*** time.”
He’s possessive, not controlling. If they make the decision to leave or to try something else he’s not going to force them to stay. He also- believe it or not- wants them to be happy. If that means letting them go he will.
Quite right. I could use a few clones myself.
“pretty good chapter, naruto moved into business really fast.
so look haku will ask naruto to help her village with money. i think it won’t bother naruto to help her, he only asked the rebels to at least working by themselve to rebuild kiri”
I don’t think he’d be bothered either, just amused. He wouldn’t help for the sake of Kirigakure but I can easily see him helping simply because she’d had the guts to ask. It has the added bonus of rubbing Kirigakure’s nose in the fact that they can’t pay their Shinobi but he can throw money at his enemies and not be bothered by it.
“Okay. I understand that this Naruto has a hella lot of responsibility, and your writing is still very good. Just… can we move away from the business side of things for a bit? I miss the intricate character interactions, or the epic fights. It’s kinda… dragging? I guess that is how I’d term it?”
…Epic…Fights…? I’m not sure we’re talking about the same story here. There are a lot of things at the moment that I’d rather show take place instead of just mentioning later. Fortunately Sai and Hana are almost back which means Naruto will be moving on to Yu no Kuni and working on other projects there.
“No. No. No. No. Why does nobody get this right!? Hiruzen would NEVER agree to the massacre. I even doubt the council would ever agree to it. Hiruzen agreed with Shisui’s plan and then Danzo interrupted that by trying to kill Shisui. Danzo then convinced Itachi that the only way was to kill everyone and that it was an order from the Hokage but it certainly WASN’T! Hiruzen didn’t and never would have accepted such a plan. But hey, your characters keep on acting out of character so of course you’re going to continue getting them all wrong.”
I don’t think you comprehend the fact that as soon as a writer- fanfiction or otherwise- writes something it becomes fact. Just because it’s not cannon doesn’t mean I haven’t changed that for the sake of my story. The whole Uchiha everything within Naruto is a fucking mess and I don’t want to deal with it so I made things simple.
“Rashio you do know this is fanfiction right? So characters can be OOC. not everything has to be canon or the same as canon. Not sure why people go into fanfictions and complain about characters not acting the same as they do in source material.”
Quite so, I’ve never understood it either.
“The chapter was good, the scene with Haku made me laugh. I hope we see Naruto getting back to training soon. As for a name for “San”, “High Priest” is at least an option, if all goes well on that front.”
I’ve already have a name for him, actually, I just haven’t had a chance to implement it.
“nakari:hey big fan of yours but i cant afford your patreon im sorry :(
but hey can you give us incite on who naruto is going to end up with?”
Don’t worry about it, I’d never want someone to feel pressured into joining my Patreon.
It depends on what you mean by “end up with”. He’s not – and won’t be- in any sort of traditional relationship. He has several lovers, that’s not about to change.
“I’ve just started to read this as I’m new to enjoying naruto fanfiction. I know that you are well ahead of this chapter I’m reviewing.
a few. chapters ago, I forgot which one, naruto killed himself infront of kurunei in a box in the cold. well that us what I’m assuming, and from chapter ahead its. like it wasnt a thing that happend. I assumed that these chapters will lead up to it and what happened but it never got mentioned that it could be a dream orbit actually happend. so I dont know what is going on in that aspect.
finally, is this like a naruto neglect fanfiction. people to want to help him but it’s like they are prideful to actually help him and they seem to not actually think that naruto feels the neglect. I know your way past this point in writing but it wod be nice to be clarified a bit”
“That was the result of Kurenai’s overactive imagination. Don’t worry about paying attention to Kurenai in the beginning of the story. I had a whole arc for her explaining why she was that way and which would lead to her resolving her issues but I ended up scrapping the arc entirely.
“good chapter! can you at some future point draw a map of your version of Naruto’s world at your site? I remember you mentioning in an earlier chapter not having actually seen the official map and having imagined things differently.”
The map I use is indeed on my website under Supplemental Material. It’s one of the earlier posts so you may need to scroll quite a bit or give the search bar a try. Not sure how well that will work.
“You know, this story has a great oversaturation of characters, sometimes the story gets stuck on somewhat tedious political issues or meaningless interactions between characters, I think your biggest mistake in this fic was trying to use romance, you only use sex, after using girls with Naruto or being related to him, then you want to end up sending them to another man, that is something unpleasant, you do not need to end up using a type of physical or sentimental relationship for things to move forward, happened with mikoto, he slept with naruto, they had a kind of spark, chapters later you make him move away from naruto as if nothing happened, they had a close relationship, they supported each other, they were somewhat possessive with each other, it is somewhat bitter things end so bad,now also with anko, it just seems to be a kind of joke to make it clear that anko wants to have fun with other people, you make naruto ignore the interests of others,Now tsunami, they had a relationship, it became physical, an interest was generated, so much that it is supporting it as it can,To say that she is still interested in Kakashi and wants to send her to him instead of Naruto, it is something very unpleasant, Naruto should take care of his relationship with tsunami, none of the girls you tried to add to naruto deserves that kind of development, they felt something for naruto, you don’t let those feelings grow, everything ends in a very bitter way for them and you don’t let your naruto evolve and develop its feelings and a kind of common sense, leaving it in the offices is becoming something very tedious.”
I don’t think I ever tried to implement any real romance. The closest to someone having any sort of relationship beyond sex with Naruto was probably Mai. For everyone else they’re casual lovers.
Not sure which men Naruto has sent girls to. I know Tsunami was reminded of Kakashi when she was around him and ended up giving him a try and that Mai is currently with Tsume but if I’ve forgotten something I’ve written do let me know.
Mikoto has not had any sexual relations with Naruto so I’m snot sure what you’re talking about there.
The only person Anko has been with since Naruto was Kurenai…with Naruto.
He doesn’t have a relationship with Tsunami, they slept together once. He knows she’s also been with Kakashi and he contemplates sending her to Konoha so the two of them can be together. In the end, however, it’s Tsunami’s decision and he leaves her to determine what she’ll be doing because she’s a grown woman capable of making her own choices.
I don’t know why people think sex equals a relationship.