The following are the recorded responses of Eyazahrid to the feedback he received on the above listed chapter and the story in general for the week following. This document is to serve as a replacement to the traditional Author’s Note at the beginning and ending of chapters and will be kept separate from both the above listed chapter and any future chapters unless deemed sufficiently important.
“Super odd thing to nice? I am guessing the Fire Daimyo doesn’t know yet that Naruto and the wolves are leaving Kohona? Let alone the fact that Asuma tried to pressure them to do so?“
Oh, heavens no. Asuma is aware that he is, technically, going againt the Daimyo by trying to get the Wolves out of Konoha when they’ve been granted stay there by the Daimyo himself. Iroh is aware of the strength both Naruto and Asuma bring to Hi no Kuni and while they all are working together- supposedly- it’s much easier for him if the other two are in the same area. If they’re busy distracting each other, too, he has the benefits of them not turning on him.
He would not be pleased to know of Asuma’s actions.
But a shame naruto was finally not tied.
Would like to have some smut involving a tied and even gagged naruto with a female playing the bit sadistic dominatrix and having fun with his body.”
To each their own, I suppose. I don’t think anything beyond – maybe- some basic restraints (e.g. wrists to the headboard) would be up Naruto’s alley. Also, as we’ve already met one Wolf with…similar such tastes…I think it’s safe to say which role Naruto would actually fulfil.
“The chapter was great, didn’t expect the part with Iroh, but I quite liked that part. The ending was surprising with the whole flag business. Tsunades teasing of Shizune was just great, one of the best parts, with the one with Hana. That was the part I enjoyed the most, with sad part is that we will not see more interaction between Hana and Naruto now, with her coming vacation. But I hope we will at least see parts of that vacation and more interaction between Naruto and Sai.”
No flag no county, those are the rules.
Parts of the vacation, hmm? I think I could swing a scene of her at the resort relaxing and a conversation between her and her mother. You know, if I remember to write the damn things.
“Rebellious daughter Hana is a nice addition to the Fandom. Also can’t wait for Orochi to switch bodies… or perhaps Mikoto drops by for a visit. Tsukuyomi needs his smothering.”
-Axius W. Xanxus
Quite, that would probably be good for him.
“Fantastic Chapter. I wonder how Iroh will view Asuma’s blunt move in getting the wolves to leave (on their terms, yes, but still leave).”
As Naruto explained to Orochimaru, not positively.
“Not sure why I cheered when Tsukiyomi said he was proud of Hana, but I cheered out loud”
Always pleased to cause such physical reactions with my work.
“This story started great and the works cities to develop well… but there really hasn’t been any character growth in one million words. Early on, it started that Naruto would (had) grow as a character, but then he regressed and has remained there ever since. There has been absolutely no personal growth.
This story is good, but with some actual development of Naruto it would be exceptional.
Thanks for writing.”
Interesting. I thought I’d had Naruto go from a young man who’s pride got him into trouble to a Daimyo who’s hubris harmed his children and then a father more concerned with the well being of his children’s comfort than his own health.
Granted, I still need someone to kick him in the ass so he remembers that his children can take care of themselves and want him to be happy too but that’s for the future.
“you write about naruto having a lot of work to much, either resolve the issue or stop using it every single time you can’t think of what to write”
Perhaps- and this is just a wild guess here- I mention the fact that he has so much work because he does, indeed, have so much work. It’s something he’s trying to deal with while seeing to his family and those who need his attention. His workaholic tendencies are also part of his character and were shown back before he was a Daimyo, too. Now that he has more responsibilities he also has more work.
Of course, there are things in the works to help him reduce his workload (or increase productivity, perhaps) but they haven’t come into play quite yet.
“the wolves are gonna unionize but instead of dethroning their leader they’re just gonna make him stay with them, lol”
I can see them doing that, actually. Unfortunately for them Naruto’s still the one in charge and they’d be lucky to force his stubborn ass to do anything.
“also dammit, the chapters named the curse of chains but there’s absolutely nothing about it other than the fact that it is unexpectedly active and not harmful”
My memory is, perhaps, not the greatest but I do believe this is the chapter in which they are first given a name. If I’m wrong- which, unfortunately, is quite likely- then I have no idea why I gave the chapter that name.
“Not to diss your patreons or anything but Kagayaku machi is really more of a description of the city than a name of a city let alone a capital city
What would be more apt would be something like “the shining city, Kagayaki” or something along those lines
Also prince of puppies
Pretty on the nose”
One of Hi no Kuni’s most popular towns is named “Poem Card Quarters” (Tanzaku-gai), I don’t find it to be much of a stretch to believe they would name their capital “The Shining City” (Kagayaku Machi).
“Loved finding this story got hooked after the first chapter and caught up in four only issue I really have is when Yuugao finds out is blaming Naruto Wolfs for Hayates Death and they have that training system it ends like she’s gonna attack him vibes and never addressed again. I know she later goes on to hunt down some wolves in Kiri but it’s never mentioned again about what Naruto even suspecting or even feeling that Yuugao had any ill intentions.”
Mayhaps I’m not understanding what you’re saying- which is likely, unfortunately- but Naruto spoke with Yugao before he left for Mizu no Kuni and he repeatedly brings up his failure in trusting her, shifting his anger at her actions into guilt for allowing her the opportunity.