The following are the recorded responses of Eyazahrid to the feedback he received on the above listed chapter and the story in general for the week following. This document is to serve as a replacement to the traditional Author’s Note at the beginning and ending of chapters and will be kept separate from both the above listed chapter and any future chapters unless deemed sufficiently important.
“congratulations you are the second piece of media ever that brings me to tears every time I see a characters death scene the first being the ending to Gurren Lagan”
Thank you. I’ve never seen Gurren Lagan myself but I am filled with pride to know I’ve evoked strong emotion with my work.
“fitting for his character to be calm.”
I thought it was in character, I’m pleased to see I was not mistaken.
“Sweet stuff. The whole thing had a slight air of dread though. Interesting.”
Dread? In my writing? I think you must be mistaken, I would never do something like that.
“If this dude gets his hands on a Rinnegan he’s going to resurrect the girl straight away.”
I’m not sure the Rinnegan can do that otherwise Yakiho would have been brought back by Pein. I think it has to be a recent death for the Hell Path to resurrect someone.
“I am crying righrtnow. You make Orochimaru Edo Tensei Tatsuki right now. Right Now!”
Hmm. I suppose that would work and Naruto would happily sacrifice someone else’s life for Tatsuki. The two question then are “Does Naruto think Tatsuki would be happy if he did that?” and “Is Orochimaru going to bring in more competition for Naruto’s time and affection if Naruto doesn’t specifically ask them to?”.
“Genuinely one of the most touching, saddest pieces of writing I’ve ever read. Absolutely incredible writing. Now I just wish we’d been able to see more of Tatsuki.”
-Winnie the Poon
Thank you. I started work on a spin-off oneshot in which Tatsuki survived but I never got very far with it because what I was doing just didn’t feel right. I’ll have to resume that project soon so we can all see Tatsuki again.
“Glad to see the update and like usual when you describe a scene with Naruto and Tatsuki, I always feel my chest grow tight with sadness. Good job and keep up the great work.”
I tend to feel the same when writing those scenes or when I go back to her death to remind myself of exactly what happened. I’m quite proud of what I managed to do with that.
“The chapter was good, that Naruto already applied the seal on him, was something I didn’t expect at this point. That Mai is seeing it as normal that Naruto is tired is something that should worry Tayuya and Hanabi. I would have expected a scene where we see Hiashi reactions to his second daugther that he thought dead. That Naruto gave the words away to Inoichi that were solely meant for him, is something I found a bit surprising.
Naruto wanted to start learning the names of all his children for some time now, he can already differentiate between some of them, from their habits and mannerisms. So I would think that learning their names should come more easy for him, especially as he now will stay in Hanahime for the unforeseeable time.”
Oh, it worries Mai too- especially now that she’s been gone for a bit and is able to recognize just how tired he normally looks.
Did consider showing a scene with Hanabi and Hiashi but I wasn’t sure how that would go and sort of wanted to wrap up Konoha events so we could move on. I may have to write it in later or create a oneshot that goes over it, especially if more people request it.
With them wearing masks when on duty- which tends to be when they’re around him the most- he really has to find other ways to recognize his children beyond memorizing faces. He also doesn’t tend to go around asking names- or, he didn’t- of his children so even when he knew them he wouldn’t know who you were talking about when you used their name. Really, he doesn’t give himself enough credit and is, without a doubt, his own biggest critic. Lately he’s just had the mindset that he’s a terrible father, something not helped by his failures to properly handle the situation in Mizu no Kuni.
“No offense but is there even a reason for Naruko and Kushina to be in the character slot in the description? They haven’t really been present in the story like at all… I’m just saying because it’s kind of misleading for new readers when they’re in the story no where near as much as they probably think when clicking the story…”
-Lawrence H. Bain
Because their actions- and arguably inaction- have had a massive effect on the story. They might not be seen as often but their influence is still felt by those who are.
“Oh dear god this chapter was not like I envisioned it at all, I mean we all know naruto has already moved on from his life with kushina so no surpises there, but then I have to say I didn’t even think about his final goodbye to tatsuki, and now I feel ashamed and sad at the same time, after all I was not prepared for that second part. .
But if anything it brought closure to inoichi and ino and if they decide to clear narutos name with their family then they will understand they declared war on an innocent kid that loved tatsuki…and they even lost :v
And then we have naruto finally with the seal, I am sure that is gonna make all his girls have a fit once they learn he went and experimented on himself…yep I am sure they will be reaaaaally amused xD”
Oh yes, I couldn’t have him leave Konoha without a final visit to his first friend.
It could be interesting to see how the Yamanaka react to learning the truth of that night but I don’t think Ino or Inoichi would spread something so personal to Naruto throughout the clan that was baying for his blood. It is, however, possible that it might come up accidently if either of them ends up giving some of the clan members a dressing down for their behavior towards him in the future.
…Yeah….probably not something he’d want them to know about. He thinks Mai’s really cute when she’s upset but he also really doesn’t like to be the one to upset her.
“The goodbye to kushina was somewhat anti climactic but in a good way,
Glad that tatsuki wasn’t forgotten since she was such an important character to Naruto,
Man that entire graveyard scene is heavy in a great way, we see Naruto’s true feelings and he acknowledged his own faults,
And that conversation between ino and her father, damn this really is one of the best Naruto stories out there,
I’m a little disappointed that we didn’t see hanabi and her father talk I hope we get a flash back,
I feel like things are going too well, is suffering around the corner?
The cursed seal behavior with the chains sounds epic, but epicness is the norm for this Naruto…
Very awesome chapter!”
Yes, it was never going to devolve into some sort of dramatic, emotional argument because Naruto is no longer emotionally invested and Kushina is both emotionally exhausted and too worried about pushing him further away to try escalating the interaction to such a point.
That she was. Arguably Tatsuki was my greatest success.
I may have to due to requests for that scene. Guess I have to figure out what they would have talked about, huh?
Suffering? In my story? I would never.
“Im so confused it says that it was last updated in February 2020 lmao”
Are you quite sure? I’m seeing “Updated: February 20” which would be the twentieth of February this year (2021). Fanfiction.net does not display the current year in my experience, though I suppose it could also be an issue with either your browser, your specific session, or perhaps the app as I double checked on my PC to see it displaying properly.