The following are the recorded responses of Eyazahrid to the feedback he received on the above listed chapter and the story in general for the week following. This document is to serve as a replacement to the traditional Author’s Note at the beginning and ending of chapters and will be kept separate from both the above listed chapter and any future chapters unless deemed sufficiently important.
“So far I’ve really enjoyed the story. But personally I’m getting a bit annoyed with all the females walking all over him. I really hope if Mai decides to make an issue out of it, that Naruto will put her in her place, as he’s still the leader. Good intentions not withstanding, she’s second in command, and her withholding the news of those wolves that died in Kiri, deserved a punishment. When Naruto decided to take up his mantle and actually go to Kiri and be the leader he is, I got really excited and what you had him to do up until now was a joy to read. Just please don’t have him revert into the passive bureaucrat he was before!”
I’m sorry, but I can’t really recall anyone walking over Naruto. He indulges a few of them- mainly Anko- and you’ll meet someone who has him wrapped around her finger in a few chapters- but no one really takes advantage of him or fails to follow commands he gives.
“Kisame’s POV had me cackling. The way you write him is hilarious.”
I’m glad you enjoyed it, he’s quite fun to write.
“Aight I was wrong about what I thought would happen with Mei after Yagura’s demise, Naruto totally just said f*** you to the rebels and the entirety of Kiri damn.
Glad to see that Naruko finally gets some screen time, even if that screen time was as tiny as a crumb.
Also, the whole Mei and Zabuza scene just had me face palming with how unecessary it was.
Hope the story continues with this pace and doesn’t fall back to that snail race that it was before this arc.”
That he did.
We may be seeing a bit more of her soon.
I’ve heard a lot of people upset with Mei and Zabuza, though I’m not entirely sure why. I hadn’t been planning on it but it seemed to fit as I was writing so I kept it.
I’d like to point out that this arc started in the late 80s and we’ve just seen it end here at 104. If you consider that speed, I think we’ll be fine.
“Only tsukuyomi can hurt tsukuyomi, ki same thinking that shows that he has already put him on a pedestal (maybe he thinks about pain(Nagato) similarly?
If you are gonna mention mitos parting words you could at least flashback to them that chapter was from when? A year or so ago? Yeah.. My memory is nowhere near that good… Did Mei not realise that Naruto stole the sanbi? In that case why aren’t they preparing for its… resurrection I guess is a fitting word? Maybe reappearance fits better…
Also poor Kaguya getting… What’s the right word c*ck blocked or cucked?
Hah! That’s karma for karura and that goes 100 times so for mito, narutos words were true as well she killed someone who took only a little bit of his attention with lovers around he can’t trust her ever again (that’s like letting your yandere ex near your harem in anime terms…) it’s nice to see how proud he is of Nami becoming a city (at least that is what I felt him asking if it was really Nami meant) can’t wait for loli isobu and asumas reaction to everything! Hope jiraiya/kushina won’t do anything drastic with narukos seal since that could harm Naruto”
That sounds better than making up excuses for why he was tossed away like a doll, so we’ll go with the “pedestal” angle
.The chapter Mito left on was ten, I believe. Ten or eleven. Definitely before twenty, though, which means it’s from at least three years ago. I suppose I could have included the quote instead of mentioning them, but I don’t think it would have fit very smoothly.
Assuming Mei has no idea the Sanbi was stolen, despite watching it happen, she would know that she has three years until she has to worry about it. She’s more concerned with keeping things together for those three years, because otherwise it won’t matter.
It was part pride and part confusion. He’s amazed to see it as a full city and confused to be waking up there when he was last conscious in a different country.
I can’t wait to see how Smol Isobu is received.
I’m half tempted to make that my new spirit animal.
“So did Naruto not absorb the Sanbi? Or is that something your leaving to a future chapters to reveal lol.”
He very much did so, yes.
“Hope we see more of Mito from now on.
Hmm, doesn’t make much sense that a clone would have existed in Naruto’s mind. Memories would just be absorbed, but nothing of the conscious should/would remain. It would be a huge problem if it did, especially if used in numbers.”
We might see her a bit more, but she won’t be any sort of main focus for a while.
The clone’s presence as an entity within his mind is a representation of the thoughts, experiences, and memories that had not yet been absorbed. Together they were still Naruto’s clone but once Naruto had them too there was nothing to distinguish them from another and the clone ceased to exist.
It’s also important to note that the sealscape is a representation of the seal as understood by his mind. While the clone did have weeks worth of memories, time doesn’t matter in the mind and he very well could have existed for only a second of real time as he was absorbed.
“That phyrric victory for kiri…lol.”
It’s been a while since I last heard that word, very appropriate.
Rankin de Merthyr
“The amount of older women getting screen time is rather glaring. Author, we’re not getting a sneak peak into your fetish, are we?”
First, I make no attempts to hide any of my kinks.
Second, who’s to say I’m not focusing on the women around my age?
“Well that was something that’s for sure haha, but damn so much happened on this chapter first with naruto and his wolves burning kiri to the ground for the rebels to get whats left, sounds exactly like something naruto would do xD oh and they looted the place for all of was worth including the Kages desk where naruto and lots of his girls are sure to have fun hehe, next we have sabuza finally getting laid, wich personally I didn’t like but it was mostly because I wanted naruto to take mei as spoils of war too :v meh I am the kind of guy that wants all the girls for the mc so just ignore me xD
And then Karura asking Miro for help in healing naruto and how Miro went from annoyed and disinterested to all out worried seeing naruto in such a bad shape, but now at least they are talking again, and she is right it’s gonna cost her a lot to regain narutos trust, but this time she will not throw it away for anything because she will work hard to earn it unlike last time where it fell on her lap, so if she has to share him with a lot of women then so be it because at least she will be with him once again :3
Oh and naruto will have a lot of his time claimed by a pissed Tayuya and a very eager Karura now that he is conscious once again hehe, but considering that Karura and all the other bijuu are most likely and hopefully all virgin then I am quite certain she was very eager to losing it with her beloved, so he is on the menu now xD”
That seems to be a common sentiment, you’re certainly not the only one who wanted Mei to get with the man supporting her mortal enemy.
Calming down Tayuya might end up being an entire arc in itself. She has one hell of a temper.
I’ll admit, I fail to see the significance of their virginity. Why would it matter?
“Amazing story! Your OC is done perfectly.” -Chapter 1
“Your depiction of Orochimaru perfectly depicts an unstable psychopath!” – Chapter 18
“what your done with the whole “clan war” thing is pretty amazing. You make it seem believable and you’ve created a whole new culture / custom for you story. AMAZING!” – Chapter 23
To be perfectly honest I have no idea if you’re referring to Tatsuki, the OC introduced in this chapter, or if you’re calling Naruto an OC. If it’s the second, I also don’t know if you’re being genuine or facetious.
Either way, I suppose, thank you.
I’m quite pleased with my Orochimaru, I’m glad you like…them.
It’s quite refreshing to get positive reviews on earlier chapters. Thank you.
“I threw up in my mouth. is it too much to hope that some sanity eventually snakes it’s way into the story? or maybe naruto kills orochimaru soon and takes over his organization and it makes it less squicky? or naruto finally gets some administrative help, sees Tsunade, gets his chakra issues figured out, and stops being the weakest character? I’m having shadow clone withdrawal over here.” -Chapter 75
I don’t know what to tell you, mate. You’re on chapter 75 and wondering if the story is going to become sane? My story isn’t the only thing lacking it, I see.
Not sure how killing Orochimaru would fit into the current plot, he’s quite fond of her.
Naruto has administrative help- Mai and Sai. He simply needs more.
His “Chakra Issues” are as “Fixed” as they can be.
The point was never for him to be the strongest. I’m really getting concerned if you hadn’t picked up on that after reading most of the story so far. Naruto isn’t strong by himself, his strength comes from those he commands.
General Response and Closing
The two biggest responces that stood out to me were dissapointment- to disgust- about Mei and Zabuza havign soem fun and joy at Mito’s return.
I can understand the second one- she was a favorite from the start and you’ve all begged for her back for quite some time now- but the first one doesn’t make much sense to me. As much as you’d like it, I can’t pair everyone with Naruto, at least not permanently, and if I’m not pairing her with Naruto- who, you know, was supporting her mortal enemy against her- then who else would be an appropriate choice?
Zabuza felt right which means he got lucky- and Zabuza normally doesn’t have much luck- so give the man a break. They didn’t get married or anything.
Other than that, most or the feedback was pretty positive. Let’s see if we can’t keep it that way with chapter 105.
Until I next have your attention,