The following are the recorded responses of Eyazahrid to the feedback he received on the above listed chapter and the story in general for the week following. This document is to serve as a replacement to the traditional Author’s Note at the beginning and ending of chapters and will be kept separate from both the above listed chapter and any future chapters unless deemed sufficiently important.
“Can’t believe nobody of real importance freaking died at the climax of this arc. I mean we all knew what was going to happen to Yagura, it was obvious as heck but really nobody else with a name?
Mei most definitely is not going to die, in fact she might strike some sort of deal with Naruto now that Yagura is out of the way.
Also, why the heck did Naruto just straight up tell Haku, Zabuza and Kisame that he is Naruko’s brother? Isn’t he supposed to keep his identity as Tsukiyomi secret and make the world believe Naruto and Tsukiyomi are two different people? It truly doesn’t make sense to me.“
No one of real importance- with the exception of Tatsuki- has died in the entire story. Those who are important are usually so for a reason, they’re the one’s strong or skilled enough to stay alive.
He’s currently being fueled with enough Biju Chakra to face off against Zabuza and Kisame. He is not in a completely rational state of mind, though he’s doing a pretty good job of managing it.
I’d also note that people don’t make sense. If you’ve managed to go through life without making any stupid slips or mistakes then I have to congratulate you. The rest of us sure as hell haven’t.
That’s brilliant. Probably should have used that for the chapter title.
Eating Upside Down
“Because no one saw the betrayal miles away.”
It wasn’t meant to be a surprise but can you imagine the utter disappointment if it didn’t happen? It was tempting to keep him alive just to mess with people but I was one of those who wanted him dead too.
“Re-reading this again it still is an epic chapter. I really like how you spreading your chapters out to more meaty chunks is working for having more meaningful story development. It still has your style of traversing multiple small chunks of different character arcs but the sum it adds up to feels like it’s a lot bigger.
I’m personally quite satisfied with the resolution of the mizu arc here though eager to see the ramifications of Naruto now having three bijuu in his body as well as what he has done by destabilizing Kiri and Mizu (with respect to Asuma, Danzou, Hiruzen, and the Fire Daimyo all together likely not having expected anything close to what Naruto pulled off).”
I’m glad you like it, it seems to be working pretty well.
Naruto has two Biju in his body (Ichibi and Sanbi). The Kyuubi is technically in Naruko.
“I feel like what happened this chapter is going lead to Kushina and Naruko finding out just how involved Naruto is with the Wolves…”
It just might,
“You know, I’m disappointed in myself. I should have realized a long time ago that Naruto was just there for the Sanbi.”
He was just there to make sure his children were taken care of but he also wasn’t going to let the opportunity pass him by to snatch her.
“So another bijiuu waifu for tsukuyomi to spoil?”
Something like that.
“Please don’t pair naruko and haku together please, not only because i hate Yuri/lesbian or bisexual pairing’s but also because I don’t remember naruko showing or developing those types of interest in female’s, so again please don’t go through with the pairing or I might just have to abandoned this story for good now, especially since I already tolerated the whole Tsume and Mai scandal but I just barely tolerated even that! Also I don’t mean for this review to come off being hateful or bashing, I’m just explaining how I feel about certain matters that I feel like your going to incorporate into this story! So here’s hoping you don’t!”
I haven’t shown her developing an interest in males, either.
Pairings will happen as the story progresses and may change depending on the events therein, just like in the real world. If Naruko does end up with Haku, even for a bit, and you’re unable to handle an imaginary relationship between two characters of the same gender then, please, feel free to leave.
I’m not sure I want that kind of person reading my story in the first place.
There’s nothing wrong with having preferences, of course. I don’t read Yaoi (Or slash or whatever the hell you want to call it) because I have no interest in reading about two men making out but I don’t gave a damn if some of the other characters in the story happen to be homosexual.
People will get into relationships with whoever they damn well please, it’s just how the world works.
“Raiders of the lost ark.2 : electric bugaloo”
I haven’t the foggiest how this in any way relates to the chapter- or the story- but I had to acknowledge it anyway. Carry on.
“F*** Wel I thought we were getting a fight between the two but no naruto just walked right up to him and killed him.”
That is Naruto’s preferred style, yes. Underhanded tactics and indirect attacks are his bread and butter.
I also can’t do fight scenes worth a damn, so I assure you this way was far less disappointing.
“Very satisfying chapter. While I’m worried about the effects of corrupted chakra on Naruto (he was hit by the hand of god once for being too strong, could happen again) I nevertheless greatly enjoyed the result. I liked how there wasn’t a needlessly drawn out fight; Naruto only needed a moment to work his seal-magic and he got it. Yagura really didn’t stand a chance…
I did quite enjoy seeing Anko and Kakashi confront the Konoha ANBU. It was over a few chapters but the presentation was still awesome. Shout-out to Anko’s more-than-just sexual feelings for Naruto. It was already there and noted when she chose to put up with Orochimaru to still be with him, but it’s still nice to see once more. If you wanted to go deep on it he’s seemingly the only one in the series that does more than put up with her manic eccentricities. He indulges her, joins in on occasion. It’s no surprise she would grow to care for him in her own way with things like that in mind.
Lmao at Kisame. He was a joy in canon and he’s a joy here too. I hope to god he’s going to be Naruto’s new teacher because goddamn I want to see those two interact without the relative tension of a battlefield.”
No, no he did not.
Anko will always be Anko, and that’s all we need in life.
Teacher, huh? An interesting idea.
“Holy s* did naruto just beat the crap out of two of the swordsmen of the mist who one was an a class shinobi and the other an S class one and then went on to kill a jinchuuriki that had total control of his bijuu who was also an S class shinobi AND a kage too all while stealing his bijuu just to rub salt on the wound? Sorry but holy s* that was so f* amazing man specially how he was melting as if all his body was liquefying all while mei was watching, hell I am sure she will believe him when he presents himself as tsukuyomi, hell I am sure she would agree to go along with anything he asked her just so he doesn’t turn against them.
And damn what a way to end a rebellion, after all naruto just made Manda his b* and in the end used him as a giant ramming rod injuring him a lot in the process hehe, that will teach him to obey in the future, that is if he even has a future to begin with since he was stupid enough to offend the priest of au.
And let’s not forget it the true victim here, poor naruko is still surrounded by water everywhere, and knowing his luck that ain’t gonna change any time soon xD”
Yes, yes he did.
……Not going to lie, I really don’t understand that last sentence at all.
“damn, sort of saw that ending coming but DAMN! Also love me some Tobi-chan, she can be my good girl anytime. Poor Kisame though, he is in so much trouble lol. Should have kept his mouth shut lol.”
I don’t think Kisame is capable of that, really.
“Am i the only one that wants the rest of akatsuki to join naruto’s weird ass family?”
Maybe not all of it, but you’re not alone.
“I really like how Naruto makes use of Manda. It’s the ultimate insult for someone as arrogant as he is. Though it makes me wonder about the capabilities of his chains. In previous chapters, it was shown and mentioned that Naruto usually uses the least amount of chains and force to do what he plans to do. Manda is very large and to control the entire serpent would require a lot of chains and a lot of force. Is that connected to using Karura’s chakra? Or maybe I’m misreading this entire situation.
I know that the focus of the story has not really been Naruto as a field shinobi, and I’m fine with that. It’s just that previously he focused very much on precision, cut once not ten times, least amount of force to get a kill, that sort of thing. So while I do not exactly dislike Naruto fighting like this right now, it seems rather strange. But maybe that is the point.
Kisame was a pretty interesting character in canon. He probably had the most badass death in the entire series. Since Tobi is Mikoto in this story, does he have someone to have that powerful loyalty to like he did in canon with “Madara”? I’m actually kind of ashamed that it has taken me so long to actually acknowledge how many things are affected by that one change. But if he does not, doesn’t that give a good reason for him to side with Naruto? Tobi is evidently the person he has the most affection for and the wolves are pretty similar in attitude to him. I’d find it believable that he could decide to stick around, even if just for the entertainment.
Haku staking her claim. It’s no surprise Naruko managed to attract an enemy kunoichi on her first mission. She is related to Naruto after all.
Yagura’s specific brand of arrogance is pretty hard to decipher. That not criticism, it’s very interesting. It is just so strange, as if every aspect of his person, even the flaws, makes him superior in every way. The entire “couldn’t you die somewhere else on your own? I have paperwork to finish” is so utterly self-assured and completely in tune with his almost ridiculous passiveness. And of course, casually ignoring that his passiveness extended this war for so long that he made a deal with the Wolves. Interesting how things come around.
So I’m assuming that Naruto has effectively crippled Kiri for the foreseeable future. I don’t think there are a lot of details on losses for either side except the Wolves, but I’d infer from Mei’s thoughts that she was hoping for a quick victory before the Wolves returned. Sure Yagura is dead and I’ll presume that Naruto won’t kill Mei, but the losses of the long rebellion and of this final battle could easily reduce Kiri to a minor village. But maybe I’m underestimating her and the rebellion. She just hasn’t really given the best performance as a commander, so I’m rather doubtful of her capabilities as a Kage.
I’ve read in your ANs that you consider making Isobu a young girl. I absolutely love the idea of this gigantic turtle turning into a shy little girl that hides her face in a muffler every time she is embarrassed. It’s not like Naruto couldn’t have more children to care for. He’s pretty good at it.
One last note: is Kushina still alive? I’m kidding, but she has seemingly disappeared. We’re told that she’s always running around doing clan stuff, but we never see that. We just hear about Kushine mucking things up again. I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you this as you know it already, but show, don’t tell. Even if it’s just monologuing about everything going downhill.
The same goes for Kurenai. She appeared a few chapters ago and that was nice, but when we have been seeing these characters lately it’s from the perspective of others, so I’d be very happy if we could perhaps see some more of them from their point of view.
Looking forward to more.”
Yes, Karura’s Chakra does give him a lot more to work with and it’s harder to exert the same level of control when using so much more Chakra. Increasing the number of chains he’s using helps balance it out and makes Manda a more durable instrument.
It’s not his preferred style, no, but it’s how he can apply the most power to the situation. When he can, Naruto will always choose the option that provides the greatest advantage.
I stopped following cannon before that so I can’t really say. He did always strike me as loyal, however, and of all Akatsuki he was undeniably one of the most laid back. He’s quite fond of Tobi, so we’ll see.
I don’t know what originally prompted me to hint at that pairing, it just seemed to feel right for the situation.
I wanted to make it seem plausible that he was the sole cause of the Bloodline Purges and his personality evolved from that. It was also refined to be as contrary to Naruto as possible so the results were certainly interesting.
I’ll put it like this; Kiri has a long road of recovery ahead of it. Ending the civil war was only the beginning. I like to think that Mei is a fantastic leader. She can inspire her people and she has a strong sence of morals that Kiri desperately needs.
She is not, however, a commander or a ruler. That’s why she has Ao. The problem with that is Ao’s old-fashioned. Mei’s the head of the rebellion so he’ll give advice but he follows her commands in the end rather than taking control of the tasks he’d be better suited for.
Smol Isobu? Wait for it.
She really hasn’t been relevant recently and I wanted to get the Mizu Arc wrapped up but I may be able to arrange something soon.
Kurenai will be seen soon. From my perspective, at least. The plan is for her to have a chat with a certain someone else still in Konoha.
General Response and Closing
Overall the responses were favorable again, so I seem to be doing something right. We’ll hope the trend continues on for the foreseeable future.
I don’t really have anything else to say here so I’ll wrap this up so I can get some dinner and get back to work on chapter 106.
Until I next have your attention,