The following are the recorded responses of Eyazahrid to the feedback he received on the above listed chapter and the story in general for the week following. This document is to serve as a replacement to the traditional Author’s Note at the beginning and ending of chapters and will be kept separate from both the above listed chapter and any future chapters unless deemed sufficiently important.
Rezyl Azzir (Guest)
“Not only do wee get a yuge chapter but we also get tons of movement, plot progression, character development and a killer cliffhanger at the end to boot.
More progress and less filler, now this is what I like to see!”
I don’t believe there was any real change to the content within my chapters, but I have no trouble concluding that the parts that normally feel like “filler” seemed like a lesser portion due to the larger chapter.
If that’s the case then I definitely made the right choice and I’m glad you enjoyed it.
As for cliffhangers, well, I have a thing for ’em and I don’t utilize them anywhere near often enough to satisfy me.
“Kisame is going for a walk…if you catch my reference.“
As long as it’s not in Brazil he can use his vacation days as he pleases.
Looks like Kisame gets to meet Tobi earlier than expected. I presume the ANBU will s*** their pants when they see Kakashi is here and willing to fight them to protect tsukuyomi, hell it may even make them think Tsukiuomi has been a sleeper agent the whole time by hiruzen and Kakashi knew
I liked the w** moments with danzou continuing but I’d hoped that we could’ve seen his reaction even if it was just him actually fainting or passing out or just slamming his head into the wall
The Kakashi and mikoto scene was amusing though more funny if a clone of naruto walked in
I will say the 10k chapters definitely feel more meaty and your work is appreciated
Stupid as f*** mei. Why underestimate someone literally calling themselves a god who has also shown the cleverness to fulfill their ambition. Crazy and capable are not meant to be ducked with unintentionally
Don’t feel bad about your patron system. It’s fair and I thought you were going to say something like you were taking a month hiatus
It’s your right to choose when to release chapters and honestly I’d be happy to support you and am glad you are finally doing so
Also because this means I can immediately go read the consequences of p* poor Kisame getting his a beat Uchiha style yet again”
Slamming his head into the wall would probably be the most appropriate.
Unfortunately Naruto has trouble with just the single clone at the moment, though that could have been amusing.
Thank you, I’m glad you like it. So far 10k every two weeks seems to have been received well. We’ll see if that holds up after another week of waiting for 102.
To be fair for her, people calling themselves gods are usually arrogant blowhards with little to back them up. As for the cleverness, well, I like to think of Mei as a leader, not a commander.
She can definitely inspire her troops and she has a fantastic cause but she’s not the kind of person who should be giving orders and making wartime decisions.
I realized what it sounded like partway through so I had to go back and make sure it was clear that my writing wasn’t on hold.
Not quite for that last one, but he does run into Tobi and all her wonderfulness in chapter 103. At least you’ll get it a bit early.
“Read the AN on the website. I’m cool with Isobu being a lil girl! I’m in love. I might sign up for your patre0n too.
This was a great chapter! I friggan loved it. The fact that theres a chance for Tobi and her Senpai to come f2f is so exciting… Would Kisame really go after Naruto if he finds out Tobi is his mom? Who knows.
What I DO know is that those konoha Anbu will be having some 1v1 time with Anko lmao. It HAS to happen. It would be hilarious!
Good luck my dude!”
You mentioned Isobu being a kid and the image of her as a shy little girl just wouldn’t leave me alone. Besides, Karura already has a son- she needs a daughter.
They do, but not until 103. I believe it’s the latter half of the chapter which I should know as I just finished it yesterday.
There’s a bit, but only Naruto can really handle Anko for any significant length of time.
“Excellent chapter, truly. I could go in on all the exact details I enjoyed, but honestly I’d be listing almost everything that happened. So instead, highlights:
-Naruto returning to “fear” as a motivator.
-Mikoto, bless her.
-Tea with Hanabi and Tayuya.
Seriously though, it was a great chapter and I couldn’t be happier seeing this arc really progress forward. I’m guessing that Kisame and Mikoto’s arrival will be the catalyst for Kisame’s potential “in” with the Wolves. I’m excited for that. He was a super enjoyable character in canon, and so far you’ve done a good job with capturing him. His general persona and lust for battle makes him a good fit for working with the Wolves (though I doubt he’d ever be considered one of them, he could still be an ally). His fondness for Tobi is just the last little push he’d need to say “sure.””
It suits him much better, doesn’t it?
What can we say? Tobi is a good girl.
Tayuya is always fun to write and throwing in Hanabi just gives me more options for mischief.
Yeah, that’s a pretty good guess. I’m glad you agree with my portrayal of him and hope it holds up in the next few chapters.
“I hope Kisame at least follows “Tobi” into Naruto’s service; given how much he likes her it wouldn’t surprise me if he defected on the spot when he finds out she’s on Naruto’s side. On the one hand, I want these idiot rebels to die screaming for their impudence, on the other hand I think they could be useful for their bloodlines… I think handing them over to Orochimaru takes care of both desires quite neatly. I also hope Naruto makes good on his desire to wear Yagura’s ribs; hopefully he’ll steal the three tails while he’s at it. How Naruto ever thought his Wolves had an positive image I have no idea, but fear is a useful tool; he should just make sure his cannibals dont develop prion diseases, though if they somehow turned into (still loyal) Wendigos, that could be useful. Regardless, good luck.”
Naruto? Steal Biju? Neeever.
He was trying to portray a positive image and realized his attempts were falling short.
I’m no doctor and I’ve never been on TV but my understanding is that the biggest issue with Cannibalism is consuming the brain which is too full of protein and chemicals for us to properly process. Of course, I could be completely wrong.
“I haven’t been leaving reviews lately, but I’ll leave one to respond to the AN.
As for the story I’m still reading it for now. If the Wolves massacre the rebels it will be very difficult for me to not immediately drop it, no matter how much I enjoy the unique interactions with Mikoto etc. Write the story you want to right, but I really don’t want to read a Naruto that condones the genocide of innocent people, much less participates in it.
For the AN, if you want to write for a career, and given what you have written so far, I suggest trying to self-publish a novel. The author of Dodging Prison and Stealing Witches is doing that, and using the aforementioned fan fiction to improve his writing. I think that’s a pretty reasonable approach.
There’s a YouTube channel called Shadiversity, of which the author just self-published Shadow of the Conqueror, the first book in Chronicles of Everfall. On his channel, if you YouTune “Shadiversity Brandon Sanderson” you can find an interview he did with Brandon Sanderson a month or so ago.
If you are unfamiliar with Sanderson, he finished the Wheel of Time after Robert Jordan died, and has his own Cosmere universe consisting of Mistborn, Stormlight Archive, and other stories and series. He’s one of the best modern fantasy authors and very successful as well. In the interview, the two of them discuss many things, but the thing you may find useful is a discussion on book publishing, self-publishing from Shad’s point of view and getting published from Brandon’s. They discuss revenue splits, costs, percentages, advances, that sort of thing. It may be useful to you in getting a writing career off the ground.”
I’m not sure I would use the word “Massacre” but they certainly don’t side with them. Innocence is a matter of perspective and, frankly, holds very little value.
I’m familiar with that HP Fanfic, though I paused my reading on it because the wait between chapters killed me, and I have enjoyed many of Shadiversity’s videos.
I would very much like to write my own book and it’s definitely on the agenda it’s just a matter of finding time to work on it. My job is my first priority followed by Sealkeeper which doesn’t leave me much for original work. I do hope to build a small stockpile of Sealkeeper chapters to free up some more time for it but we’ll see how it goes.
Of course, my biggest problem is deciding what idea to actually develop a proper plot for. Muse has given me quite a few to choose from.
“For a second I thought the guy would be thrown all the way back to Kiri trough yagura window (shattering it) and into his office only for yagura to be mad at him for not being on his assignment…
Is there not a madness inducing sickness you get when you cannibalism to much?
2 lines 0.9 seconds thats all I needed to figure out that samehada will get added to narutos harem
You’re not even trying to make it surprising anymore who will get in (at this point we may as well say any female that is not kushina…) and he takes itachi body why do I get the feeling mikoto or orochimaru (more likely mikoto) will get Ems? (well at least then Naruto will have a usable (I don’t consider bijuu that he can’t fully utilize as usable) game changer aside from sealkeeper and orochimaru (again while the wolves are strong kompared to end game Characters they are less so especially if Naruto sees them as his children (making them even a weak point in certain situations)
Ugh pelvis bones on one’s shoulders sounds kind of creepy (the fact that they are pelvis bones not because they were still in alive buddies just a few hours in world/lines in written form ago)
Tayuya and hanabi are adorable!
I feel like Naruto if he does not outright sue jiraiya would at least extort money out of him for taking advantage of him like that…
Mei is kind of annoying meh I never liked her anyway…
Naruto answering Danzos multiple choice questions with yes was what finally cracked me up!
If Kisame does not say next chapter that his shark summons allowed him to get there so quickly via reverse summoning I will have to call bullshit (on second thought if ame is not that far from Kiri that’s a completely different matter)
Webtoon has a coin system with which you can buy chapters 3 in advance (3 chapters ahead) I am not completely sure how it works since I am broke (most of the time at least) and patient when it comes to updates (I have literally at least 1000 other stories at all times downloaded that I have yet to finish reading) but maybe you should try what webtoon is doing?”
…Damn, that’s actually a really good idea. I was going to have him thrown back to Kiri but putting him through Yagura’s window never occurred to me.
No, Naruto will not be fucking a sword. Well, I don’t plan on it, at least .We’ll see.
Yes, yes they are.
Sue? For using his name in a book? Naruto was named after one of Jiraiya’s characters in the first place, he doesn’t have much ground to stand on for a lawsuit. Of course, he also doesn’t really care. Those around him don’t seem to mind it- Anko, Kakashi, Sakura, Hanabi, Tayuya, and, well, Jiraiya- so he doesn’t either.
He does not. In fact, the discussion is very much the opposite.
The primary reason I’m unable to do that is because I do not have three chapters ready to give out. Also, knowing myself, I would never manage to keep track of which chapters were supposed to be posted where when.
I only have to keep track of two right now and it’s already tripping me up.
“Hey why not just make all the smutty scenes high level patron only omakes? Maybe that would get you that bit of extra cash you need? You know what they say s*x sells!”
If I could write a descent smut scene absolutely. Hell, if I could write them they would already exist Patreon or no.
“The Flesh Eaters are going to be his most fanatical Wolves I can feel it (Unless you hit us with a plot twist, then I never said anything)
I love the bone attachments to his outfit, gives the dark King feel a more visual aid.
If you put out a book I’d probably read it, I plan on becoming an Author as well one of these days. Best of luck to you”
Don’t tempt me.
I quite like the feel of it too.
I appreciate your faith in my abilities. One day you’ll have the opportunity. You know, eventually.
It’s definitely fun and if you need practice Fanfiction provides an excellent opportunity to experiment with worlds and characters already prepared for you. The presence of existing fans able to offer feedback is also a fantastic benefit.
“You certainly have a flair for writing, so as a career it can be viable. I would suggest, if you have the time, to write alternate scenes as incentive for your support. Short moments that aren’t canon or things that didn’t make it into the main story but could have happened behind the scenes.”
That…is a damn good idea. With how many scenes I end up shoving into a chapter it might prove difficult to come up with more for that but definitely something to think about. Thank you very much.
Always a popular subject of reviews, we had a few specifically asking after of favorite fox. I’ll keep it brief- 104.
105 at the latest.
Having just started 104, however, I’m fairly confident I can fit her into it.
Believe it or not I have plans. Granted, not good plans, but plans.
General Response and Closing
As has become the norm the response for chapter 101 was mostly positive. There were some reviews for Sealkeeper in general that were less so but I can certainly understand that.
It’s probably not a very easy story to get into, especially with how I handled earlier chapters. Once it’s complete I’ll go back over it and, well, rewrite a lot of it. Hell, I’ll probably manage to knock off a hundred thousand words from the story and clean up a lot of never-explored plots.
I seeded the campaign but lost my notes so I couldn’t recycle the encounters. More or less.
That should do it for this Commentary.
Until I next have your attention,
There’s a saying I keep in mind for times like this. “Only the powerless are truly innocent. Power is guilt, for there is no use of power that causes no harm.”
The rebels are fighting for a good cause…. But they’re fighting. How many civilians got hurt because of the war they started? How many ‘loyalists’ would love to join them, but can’t get their loved ones out of Kiri? The rebels may not have caused as much trouble as Yagura, they may have a good cause…. But they aren’t innocents.
Moreover, ninja of all kinds are mercenaries. Taking a job doesn’t mean they condone the job or the reasons behind it. Like a real world bodyguard doesn’t condone all the actions taken by his client just because he’s guarding them.
Didn’t you have a line somewhere before about Naruto thinking Yagura was being an idiot for killing off bloodlines? Somehow the phrase ‘stupid waste’ is coming to mind.
Sounds about right.