Clear the Path – Posted 2019.09.02
The following are the recorded responses of Eyazahrid to the feedback he received on the above listed chapter and the story in general for the week following. This document is to serve as a replacement to the traditional Author’s Note at the beginning and ending of chapters and will be kept separate from both the above listed chapter and any future chapters unless deemed sufficiently important.
As most of the responses for last chapter were about Sakura- yeah, try to wrap your head around that– I’m going to address the matter of her last. Normally I do the most negative response last but with mo st of the others being pretty short- in comparison- it simply feels better this way.
So, without further delay, let’s dive into last week’s chapter.
sakurasucks brings us the question; “Naruto U., Kushina U., Naruko U just wondering on how you determine that they are part of the story since there has been little interaction with them”
Good question. There are three points to be addressed for that question.
First, two of those characters were in the chapter you left that review on.
Second, even if characters are not currently being shown the effect they had on the story is still present. Kushina, as the most obvious example, caused the majority of the story even if she hadn’t intended to. Because she’s had such an impact she’s included on the character list.
Finally, I haven’t changed the summary at all since chapter one nearly four years ago. Considering how much it’s evolved I’m probably massively overdue to update it but haven’t really bothered.
Rogue vs Rouge
Rouge Survivor has again mentioned that I used “rouge” instead of “rogue”
Have you considered that I might just be petty enough to continue my typo purposely because you keep bringing it up?
And yes, I’m very well aware I messed up your username too.
I am a petty motherfucker.
Mem0ry and a Guest have both mentioned my short chapters again. I address this in the 2019.09.04 Update.
Rest assured larger chapters will be coming, though they will not be without cost.
First, I’m not too fond of the term “Naruto’s Women” because it makes it sound like a harem of some sort. Naruto has lovers, but there’s nothing to make them exclusive. Whether or not the women in his life have other lovers is a matter of their own preference and circumstance.
I’m not going to enforce some sort of double-standard on my characters. Naruto can have multiple lovers and so can his lovers. It wouldn’t be fair otherwise.
Of course, the matter of him being their favorite lover is without question. He’s not the side hoe.
Onto the matter of the women themselves, Ino has a larger chance of ending up with Naruto than Hana does, though it’s still entirely possible.
I could have split your responce into the categories it covers but I’m laz- erm, “exhausted from a long day of teaching people that they have to have shit plugged in for it to work” so I’m just going to take care of it all at once.
Don’t worry, I’ll hate myself for it halfway through anyway.
Personally I wouldn’t consider mental stability to be a value that goes down but rather a balance that could go either way. In Yagura’s case he’s too stable and it doesn’t fit the reality of the world around him.
I suppose that’s still ‘unstable’ because he’s lost his balance but it’s definitely not the same instability common with the Shonobi world- or my characters- so I should probably get a better word for it.
Regardless, in Yagura’s case he requires too much structure and is far too rigid in his beliefs on how the world should operate. I’ll speak more on it in the upcoming update- 2019.09.11- so I wont’ elaborate too much here.
Seals should be showing up a bit more soon, I have some plans for them.
At the moment Naruto does not have plans for Asuma. I- erm, he has been too occupied by the matters of Mizu no Kuni. When that’s wrapped up he’ll look into Asuma.
I’m quite fond of Naruto and Danzou’s relationship too.
Sakura has been fun to write, she’s always such a fantastic tool for any writer because she provides so much potential to a story. Even if a writer absolutely loathes her she can still be utilized to set up elements of the plot rather easily.
It might be because she’s so bland and worthless in cannon, but I really wasn’t all that fond of her so I may be a bit biased. Have read quite a few enjoyable Naru/Saku stories though, so I’m not too unreasonable.
More of Sakura to come at the end of this commentary, though I do hope I’ve been able to make these “cute but crazy” characters stand out from each other. I want them to be similar- it’s the feel I’m going for -but I don’t want them to seem like the same character with a different appearance.
As I’ve mentioned I intend to do an entire thing on Yagura (and Naruto) in thsi week’s update so I won’t go into as much detail here.
I’m also not so cruel as to ignore your questions.
Or am I?
There seems to be a lot of positive feedback for Yagura which pleases me despite him not really being a “main” character. I hadn’t seen a lot of stories that actually included Yagura for more than a chapter or two and they typically didn’t give him anything more than a sub-plot enemy personality so I tried to come up with something that might explain his actions- because Tobi is a good girl- and allow you all to want him dead at the same time.
I’ve seen both, so I am hoping that both is the general opinion on him. If I’ve managed to acheive that balance I’ll consider him a successful character.
Regardless he’s been a bit..”fleshed out” in my own humble opinion and I’m happy to see that you like it.
I nearly started writing about responses to chapter 97 here which is an example of why I need to have these done before the new chapter comes out each week. I’m leaving this here in hopes that it will remind me to stop procrastinating, though we all know how successful that will end up being.
As for Naruto and Yagura getting along, well, you’ll see that in chapter 97- in fact, you probably already have- and I’ll discuss it more in the next update.
And now for the star of chapter 96, Haruno Sakura.
What a strange thing to say.
I had some vague plans for Sakura long, long ago and tried to move things towards them a while ago only for things to spiral into…this.
I’m not entirely sure how it happened but I’m certainly not complaining. Like with Sasuke, writing her- this way, at least- is really giving me an appreciation for her character.
Or lack thereof.
There hasn’t really been any negative feedback for her, per se, but some have commented on how Naruto reacted to her.
To the comment that he shouldn’t stick his dick in crazy it’s a little too late. He and Anko have been getting it on for some time now.
And for the “red flags” Sakura shows, again- Anko. The woman crawled into bed with him covered in blood- yes, that’s Sealkeeper cannon though I can’t be bothered to look up the chapter right now- because she thought it would be arousing. Sakura wanting to make bloody flowers is going to seem rather mild for him in comparison.
Sakura may resemble a mini-Anko but she has a long way to go to even think about reaching her level.
While were on the subject of mini-Ankos, no.
We cannot have a squad of mini-Ankos running around. That would be absolutely horrifying. It most definitely would not be made of Anko, Sakura, Tayuya, and Kin.
Stop making me think of these, things, dammit.
We’ll cut it here for the Sakura section before I get too many ideas and end up taking up another project- that Naruto/FemDanzou? I’ve come up with a fucking plot for it. I have scenes planned out. Oh, merciful gods above, it’s actually going to happen- when I barely have time for the existing ones.
General Responce and Closing
No one seems to be back to hating me again yet, which I consider a success. Sakura was wildly popular- which is still weird to say- and Yagura was pretty well received.
I’d hope you all receive chapter 97 well but I’ve already seen your responses to it. I haven’t fucked up too badly just yet, we’ll see how long I can keep it up.
Until I next have your attention,
B-b-but…. A Mini-Anko squad would be so good! Adorable and horrifying, and you know Anko would just be standing in front of her adorably smiling, blood-soaked genin going, “You’re right, Kure-chan, being a jounin-sensei is great!” And then just everyone nearby instantly shifts from gaping at the genin to glaring at Kurenai….
Aw come on!
Doing that would make me feel like the Hokage. Somehow I would be responsible for the massive headache that is a squad of mini-Ankos and would only be able to watch in helpless horror as they ascended the heights of Anko-dom. Hell, Konoha can barely handle one Anko as it is and Ibiki would probably quit as soon as he saw them.
Though I suppose that could be how Naruto gets revenge against Asuma……
That would be a very Naruto revenge.
Fuck. Had a nice long reply all typed up and ready to go… and then my page refreshed and now it’s gone… bullet point version I guess.
-Regardless of vernacular in question Yagura’s mental is dangerous to his own country as opposed to enemies alone (see the mental stability of Anko or Kakashi as a comparison.) I wasn’t fond of the set-up back in chapter 67, still now fond of the arc now.
-Your various cute but crazy girls feel distinctive even with the same designation I assigned to them.
-Your comments on the woman in Naruto’s life, the lovers he takes, and how it’s not strictly a harem. I’m a real life supporter of healthy open relationships, polyamory, swinging, whatever the hell you want to call it. The girls having potential lovers aside from Naruto is something I support. The “harem” with the big house, mass orgies, and incessant fluff I’m not fond of, but your take on Naruto’s romantic and sexual life is one I like. (For the record, I still liked Mai and Tsume together I just hated the context of her and Naruto’s misunderstanding being the catalyst.)
I’m sorry to have missed out on that then.
Oh, he’s most certainly dangerous. Cruel and delusional are never a good combination. I was simply objecting calling him unstable because that describes the characters we like.
I’m glad they’ve managed to remain distinctive.
I’ve read Harem stories I liked and some I couldn’t stand, but the whole concept never really seemed to make sense to me. The fact that Naruto was suddenly in a relationship with several woman and none of them ever seemed to have a problem with him bringing in more didn’t really make it feel “equal” despite a lot of the authors using that as one of the points for them liking him. If you’re casual you’re casual. If you’re in an open relationship then you’re in an open relationship. All that really matters is that if they choose to be exclusive with someone it feels like it was a choice they made rather than an expectation.
Can’t lie, I really like Mai/Tsume too. There is a good chance of me continuing that at some point.
Feels like a rather nebulous distinction to draw, personally. Mental stability is essentially a made up concept as is, so treating it as balanced spectrum feels a bit weird to me. It’s not important either way though.
I think it’s possible to write harems in a genuine way, most authors just don’t bother to give thought to it beyond “hey my MC gets to fuck multiple girls and they all love him.” A juvenile premise to be sure, but the execution can still be handled well if an author wants to put in the work. It isn’t unreasonable after all that multiple people would fall in love with a single individual- it’s navigating the relationships that form that takes skill. Polygamy isn’t a new concept, it’s just rarely tackled beyond the superficial sex and fluff all too common in anime and fanfiction. It’s just nice to see various kinds of sexual relationships from multiple characters without devolving into the usual harem-fest. Even aside from the sex, I like how differing some of Naruto’s relationships are. Though if I’m being fair some of the relationships specifically feel a bit “samey” in execution. Mostly in regards to the cute but crazy girls, unfortunately. It’s not a flaw, per se as Naruto shouldn’t have a different personality for every girl – it’s just a natural byproduct of his indulgence towards them that their interactions and relationships would feel similar. (Unfortunate that many of the women in which he had distinct relationships with tonally have been neglected as side characters or found themselves cast out of his life; looking at you Mito, Yugao, Kurenai, or hell, even Mikoto and Kushina.)
Mai and Tsume’s affectionate, sexually enticing, but not exactly intimate relationship really was a wonderful addition to the story. It also had the added benefit of reminding me of a relationship I had in the past (with a poly girl ironically enough). It has hence ended but there is nothing but fond memories of said time. Obviously it wasn’t anywhere close to being a 1:1 comparison, but the overall dynamic between them paralleled the relationship in my own life to a decent degree.