Commentaries – Sealkeeper Chapter 90

Call of the Moon – Posted 2019.07.22

The following are the recorded responses of Eyazahrid to the feedback he received on the above listed chapter and the story in general for the week following. This document is to serve as a replacement to the traditional Author’s Note at the beginning and ending of chapters and will be kept separate from both the above listed chapter and any future chapters unless deemed sufficiently important.

This Week’s Agenda

Mixing it up a bit this week. We’ll start with a normal response I wanted to address, move on to the general response- as most of it was very similar- and then I’m going to be mocking someone. Usually I have mocking right before the general but I have to go back to some of my other stories- you know, the ones that have been dead for years- so I can properly respond to this genius.

And who, might you ask, is the lucky person getting a personalized response?

Lord Kyuubi gets that honor with his comment. Partly because it was the last one I had on my list when I went back and read them all again and partly because it’s a follow up response to his response on my response to his response.

….I think I did that right. Moving on.

I believe the misunderstanding in this instance is linked to the fact that you are under the assumption that the Wolves love Naruto because  “…he freed them from Danzo whom they hated. “.

That is not the case at all.

They felt resentment towards Danzou, certainly, but that’s only because he cast them aside. Danzou himself released them from his service and they love Naruto because he gave them purpose again by bringing them into his.

Had Naruto not taken them in and Danzou approached them with an offer to rejoin ROOT they would have accepted in a heartbeat. They want to serve, they want to be used. That’s what they were trained for and that’s what Danzou molded them into.

Because they didn’t fit Danzou’s needs, however, he had no use for them and returned them to the Konoha populace as civilians. They were not suited to a civilian lifestyle. It is from that which Naruto rescued them, not Danzou.

General Responses

Again, I’m blown away by the possitive feedback. I was concerned the chapter wouldn’t live up to everyone’s expectations after seeing how excited everyone was after chapter 89 but it seems I managed to appease most of you. Well, those of you who reviewed at least. I have no idea how many people I dissapointed who didn’t leave a comment.

I’d like to thank all of you who wished me well with the job search, I appreciate your support. I won’t talk about it here but I’ll mention it in the 2019.07.29 update which should be posted soon after this is.

I know I grouped a lot of the responses into the same category of “Oh, they enjoyed it” this week so if I missed a question you had or you were really looking forward to a response from me please don’t hesitate to reach out to me in a PM or by clicking ‘Contact’ above.

Next, we have the really fun part.


If they were attention-seeking than they’ve found it. Assuming they know to check here. I was originally unsure if I was going to mention their reviews because they were leaving them on my other stories but as soon as they left one on Sealkeeper [Chapter three, it seems] I knew it was too good to pass up.

The first thing to address is the fact that they’ve apparently checked out the story before based on their review., though I am unsure how far they managed to get. If this is a regular,current reader acting out for attention I’m going to be very disappointed.

If they have reviewed in the past, however, I am unable to locate it. That may be because I emptied my inbox a few months ago -which took fucking forever– and deleted anything from because it was easier and I was lazy.

Up to four thousand emails again, though. I should probably get to that before I end up 10k+ likeI was last time. Having all my Fanfiction notices going to my main inbox? Yeah, maybe not the best idea.

Back to the reviews.

Only one of the reviews was for Sealkeeper, mentioning how clunky the first few chapters I wrote almost four years ago were. Yes, thank you, we really weren’t sure until you mentioned it but it would seem we have indeed improved in the 600k+ words we wrote.

I was scared for a bit that it wouldn’t be the case.

Now, if the story had been done and they picked up a book to read it and found the first few chapters to be clunky then fine, comment about it. The piece is done and should have been corrected. Sealkeeper, however, is not done. Hell, one could say that it’s not even a complete first draft because I have yet to reach the end.

Just because people are enjoying my work as it is doesn’t mean it’s anywhere close to professional, this is a personal project that I’m using to improve my writing and that I’m sticking with because I promised I would.

It’s also free, so unless you’re offering advice on how I can make it less clunky you’re really not doing anyone any good. If you’re telling me I’m doing something wrong let me know how I can do it properly. Not only does that help me and make your criticism useful, but I’m far more likely to believe you if you support you comment.

And when you don’t have any of your own work posted I can be a little skeptical about your advise because I have nothing to base it off of.

Sounds kind of asshole-ish, but if I look at what you’ve posted and it’s …erm…below average quality…I’m probably not taking your advise. Similarly, if you’re an author whose work I myself have really enjoyed and I know you write well than I’m much more likely to accept it.

That’s for criticism on the writing itself, of course, plot, pacing, and other general story elements anyone can share their opinions on and I do take them under consideration.

How often I listen to them, though, that’s a completely different matter.

The cliffhangers, for example, aren’t going anywhere.

As for the other reviews, they thought it would be fun to pick the bones of Awaken, Noblesse, which has been dead for nearly six years. For this reason alone, I’m assuming their intentions are less than constructive.

The fact that including a single element in my story makes it an “Automatic D tier story.” is also humorous. I had been so hoping for a higher grading on the StoneTheLoner chart. I do have to wonder if they actually have it written down and go through marking it as they read stories to assign ranks but I have a feeling they’re just trying to insult the long-dead story.

What that accomplishes, I don’t know, but perhaps that’s just because I don’t posses the intellect to understand the ways of StoneTheLoner.

I can’t wait to see what Sealkeeper ends up ranking, or maybe another dead story like Botsuraku. When they have the time to officially inspect those I’ll let you all know how we did, I promise. I know you’re all as nervous as I am.

And Stone, that attention you were so desperately seeking? There you are, sport. Now go fetch daddy another beer.

Well, that just about fills my asshole quota for the day, let’s call this done so I can get to work on that update and go to bed.

Until I next have your attention,


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