Morons – Posted 2019.06.10
The following are the recorded responses of Eyazahrid to the feedback he received on the above listed chapter and the story in general for the week following. This document is to serve as a replacement to the traditional Author’s Note at the beginning and ending of chapters and will be kept separate from both the above listed chapter and any future chapters unless deemed sufficiently important.
There were a few responses that talked about Mai’s thoughts about godhood either calling for her to be put back in her place or claiming she’s delusional. Ashenerden mentioned that despite being a Jounin-level Shinobi she’s just cannon fodder to S-rankers.
Yes, absolutely correct. Everyone is cannon fodder to an S-rank Shinobi. A-rank is elite, an S-rank is legendary.
I also mentioned this in a previous commentary, but when it comes to rogue Shinobi part of their ranking is based off their bounty, so most of the S-rank nuke-nin aren’t actually S-rank Shinobi.
For example, Mai is a low A-rank, Kakashi is a high A-rank, and Itachi is a low S-rank.
As far as I’m concerned, Kakashi is very close to Itachi’s level and the only real difference is Itachi’s Sharingan. Remove the Sharingan from both and I would consider them to be equal.
To better show this, I’ll list below some of Akatsuki’s members and the Shinobi ranking they merit, as opposed to their rogue status.
Deidara – High B-rank, Low A-rank
Konan – High A-rank
Sasori – Mid S-rank
Kukazu – Mid S-rank
Hidan – Low B-rank
Pein – High S-rank
Kisame – Mid A-rank
Perhaps not cannon, but this is how I’m viewing these Shinobi. You may notice that those with S-rank status are those with skillsets that allow them to be Army-Killers. That is very much intended. A-rank Shinobi are expected to be able to easily handle squads of B-rank Shinobi, S-rank Shinobi are able to handle groups of A-rank Shinobi.
That’s why Deidara is a bit higher than his actual ability should merit. With his explosives he can be expected to clear squads of average Shinobi (Average is B-rank) but he himself really isn’t Elite. He’s pretty average outside of his explosives and one could probably argue that his reliance on those explosives probably means the rest of his skills have suffered.
Power aside, Mai is not becoming Amaterasu because she believes herself to be a goddess or because she’s powerful. Rather, she’s elevating herself to equal status with Naruto. Likewise, Hinata does not believe herself to be a goddess but her followers do. That belief gave them hope and now gives them security so she continues to maintain it for their sake.
And on the subject of followers, Ashenerden‘s review also mentioned the Wolves and how their belief in Naruto’s divinity and that he’s their father makes them all as mentally sound as Gaara.
Again, yes. Completely correct.
The Wolves are the prospective ROOT agents whose mental conditioning was unsuccessful. When I say that I don’t mean that they couldn’t be conditioned, but that the result wasn’t what Danzo had been aiming for. The result? Shinobi less sound than the average. That’s been another theme in this story- very few Shinobi are mentally sound and those that are usually don’t get very far.
As for their belief in his divinity, it is only a handful- zealots- who truly believe this. The majority of the Wolves are aware that he’s as mortal as they are and only go along with it to help maintain his persona. Tsukuyomi is the name Mai gave their leader to hide his identity and provide a sense of power. They don’t see anything wrong with making sure it stays that way.
When it comes to him being their father, however, he is. Naruto founded the Wolves – and later the House of Wolves – and thus is the father of the organization. He gave them direction and purpose again and they love him for it. Add to that the rather parental role he’s taken in their life and you’re going to loose any argument with them trying to convince them otherwise.
None of the Wolves, however, believe him to be their biological father- not even the zealots.
I normally mention the more positive responses near the end but I have a very special negative review I’m going to enjoy ripping apart so I’m saving it for last.
The majority of you enjoyed chapter 84, specifically the fact that Naruto got with Anko and the ending scene with Yugao, which I’m very glad to hear. I wasn’t sure how exactly the Yugao scene would be taken but I had high hopes because I was very fond of it after it was written.
One reader has expressed their dislike of there being a self-loathing female but when the majority of characters interacting with Naruto are female it’s kind of inevitable. You may have noticed that most of the characters have bouts of self-loathing, Naruto being in the lead for that particular race.
Personally, I prefer the term “Regret”, but self-loathing is pretty apt. A bit extreme, maybe, but it gets the idea across well enough.
Not to say self-loathing might not become even more apt in the future. In case you’re not a fan of that, you’ve all been warned. My actors will continue to suffer right up until the last scene. After that, well, that will be more a matter of opinion.
Now, with the general feedback generally covered let’s dive in to the review I’ve been looking forward to tearing apart all damn week.
I’m not even going to paraphrase it, I’m just going to copy the whole thing below so you can go over it with me. Oh, this will be fun.
“and 85 fucking chapters in and all i have seen since chapter was was gay ass boring bullshit nothing about this trash has been good, hell i have skipped over 60% of this trash to see if you could even man the fuck up and make your gay ass pathetic weak little limp dick naruto get the fuck off his ass out from behind an office desk and fucking do something yet again i was wrong because 90% of you trashy people on this website are far to easy to read and predict considering i can and have predicted almost every more you naive trashy authors have made when writing a story. you have been reported for writing about politics when this website does not approve of such a thing. i could write a story with this many chapters while my wife is sucking my fucking cock without a damn issue and i sure as hell won’t ever write about gay ass politics or bitches pushing paper work fuck that you are either on the fucking battle field with those you send out to die or you have no right being in charge.”
What to start on first? The lack of capitalization? The lack of punctuation? The fact that they have no profile picture, no bio, no favorite stories, nothing posted, and have turned off private messaging? Oh, it’s so delicious that I can’t wipe the shit-eating grin from my face.
The best part? Now that I’ve started these commentaries I can rip it apart here without bothering the readers who don’t care and this fucker doesn’t get the satisfaction of having their name in my chapter.
Let’s go from the top, then, and just take this piece by wonderful piece.
First, you’re 85 chapters in. If you’ve read all 550,000+ words before you decided it was boring then you need to get a hobby or a job or something. Maybe I’m a slow reader or it’s just been so long that I don’t recall properly but I usually estimate a 100,000 word story as a six hour read. If that’s even close to being average that it would be safe to assume this person wasted some 33 hours on a story they didn’t like.
Gods above, I would love that kind of free time.
Next, Naruto is not gay. I think we’ve established that with the two women he slept with. He may be bisexual – I could always go that route, I suppose, though it’s not the plan – but he’s certainly not homosexual.
As for waiting on him to do something, he very recently went on a mission where he blooded Sakura. He also managed to get the Kage-Bunshin working so that he can get out from behind his desk and focus more on his career as a Shinobi.
What else? Something about giving Inoichi a body, resolving his issues with Shizune, using Biju Chakra for the first time, and becoming a part of team seven. It’s like he’s been taking care of things as he transitions from being burdened by his responsibilities as a Daimyo- you know, from the country he took over- to being able to focus on his lifelong ambition of being a Shinobi.
I’m sorry he hasn’t been in any wars yet or discovered the bullshit scroll of overpowered Jutsu and mythical super-rare holographic poke-summon yet as he builds his harem. We seem to be waiting on Kakashi to decide which country they’ll be going after. Unfortunately he keeps getting distracted by his book.
If that’s what you’re after, though, I’ve enjoyed a lot of those over the years so feel free to scroll down my favorites list to find something more to your taste.
Gods, how did you get to chapter forty if you think he’s doing nothing now? I quite clearly remember writing like three chapters in a row with him in a fucking carriage.
Erm, moving on.
You can predict it all, huh? Did you see that you wouldn’t enjoy it before you wasted all that time, dumbass?
Apparently I’ve been reported for writing about politics, too. I haven’t poured over the rules lately, but I’m 99% certain that’s intended to mean don’t discuss real world politics, not that whatever story you write cannot have any sort of political structure. You know, because that would be dumb.
You remember those 33 hours? There was a much better use for it. If you can write a better story and are tired of seeing so much trash on this site fucking do it. Seriously, if you can contribute to the community do so. I sure as hell won’t mind another good story being posted. Fuck, if it’s a fandom I know I’ll check it out and be perfectly content to read the damn thing.
Not sure why you brought your poor wife into this – maybe you could have spent all that time with her instead of wasting it on something you could predict you wouldn’t like – but congratulations, I guess. I suppose it’s to establish the fact that you are most assuredly not gay despite that being one of your favorite words, if I’m understanding things properly.
Or maybe it’s some sort of achievement?
Personally I’m married to my job – and she can be a real bitch – but tell her hello from me, I guess. Oh, better yet let her read the story. Never hurts to have more people enjoying my work, after all.
It seems as though you have a pretty outdated sense of battlefield command, too. It’s good to have people with the front lines leading the charge but it’s also important that your leader doesn’t die and that whoever is issuing orders has a clear picture of the conflict. It’s awfully hard to maneuver troops when you’re in the middle of combat.
Then again, that’s for open battles and these are Shinobi. You know, assassins. Operating in small cells to achieve goals and being directed from the shadows. Kiri’s the closest to an open battle that they have at the moment and that’s primarily small skirmishes. There’s also the matter of keeping his identity secret. He only recently figured out Kage-Bunshin so joining the fight wasn’t much of an option.
There’s also the fact that he’s not as strong as the Wolves at the moment, so there’s no benefit to him being there. Naruto is the moral and political leader, their commander is Sai. You know, the young man who is also directing the battle from afar.
I don’t exactly see any prime ministers or presidents on the battlefield these days, but the military commanders don’t seem to have any issues utilizing established chains of command to direct their troops. It’s almost like they can trust them to follow orders and make the necessary judgment calls while on the field.
It’s like soldiers are trained for a reason instead of being random people rounded up and told to charge.
And no right being in charge? Who’s to decide that right? Oh, yeah, those being led. In this case it would be the Wolves. Huh, they don’t seem to have any problems with Naruto being in charge. You know, the young man who changed their seals and gave them purpose again. They seem pretty happy with him leading them. What right do you have telling them who they can’t chose to follow?
I could probably say more but I’m late to post this and have other things I need to take care of. I will ask that when you write that amazing story of yours you do a better job than on your review. You don’t do yourself any justice when you argument is made of run-on sentences and you can’t be assed to capitalize.
And with that addressed, I do believe we’re done with this commentary.
Until I next have your attention,